What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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