I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
