Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
