Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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