i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize