I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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