We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
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