I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
