I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
