oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
