Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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