is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The police scanner is talking about you again....
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
