yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Randomize
