so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
