...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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