all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
