I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
