I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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