I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
