i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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