Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
