Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
