Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
