ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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