it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
