This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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