There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
