I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
