its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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