And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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