i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
