Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This can only be settled by a dance off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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