remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize