And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
