I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
