What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
