TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step