but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?