wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Green mimosas i think yes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?