y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.