"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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