dude i'm inner monologue high
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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