I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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