Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
