We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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