I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
