Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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