this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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