party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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