help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
