Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
