I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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