We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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