Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
