Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
