hotel room ftw
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize