I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so explain again why im purple
no
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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