So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
