we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
