All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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