Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dick very happy bro
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
