So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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