His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
