Got a toothbrush?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks