honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
