when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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