Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
