worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
