You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
