If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish you could order shots online.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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