WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
