we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
